A Place to Lay My Head | One Model One Story
We’ll be exhibiting the photos from award-winning photographer Pere Ibañez and stories at Camera Stylo from 6.30pm this Saturday 29 June – scan the QR in the poster to buy a ticket if you haven’t already!
Name: Enoch Li
Country of Origin: China
Occupation: Bearapy Founder
Time in Beijing: 2009-Now
If we just lay here
If I lay here, if I just lay here, will you lie with me and just forget the world?
This was the song Timmie and I danced to during our wedding weekend saga. We started slow and then broke into a hip-hop style where I got to show off my Angry Birds shoes. The crowd was impressed, haha. Behind the fun and giggles, however, these lyrics serve to remind us of the challenges we had gone through together.
During my worst days, I could not control my sobbing or hatred for the world. It was irrational, I know. My friends told me to get a grip and pull myself up. My parents and seniors told me I was committing a fatal mistake by quitting my job. I felt like the whole world was against me, and I was frustrated at not being able to decipher my problem, or the reasons behind my constant lethargy.
One day, I lay on the brown, fuzzy carpet in our living room, arms and legs spread out, desperate and hopeless. My sobs turned into wails, chokes, and howls. Timmie came over to where I was sprawled out.
He quietly lay down next to me and held my hand. That was all he did.
Eventually my crying died down and I felt soothed by his presence. A few days later, Timmie played me the MTV of this song, Chasing Cars, by Snow Patrol. Holding me on his lap, he stroked my hair and said, “We just forget the world… it will be okay Nochie, it will be okay.”
And that was how we were for the years of my depression, the agony and the rut. Timmie was there, simply to lay there with me. No judgments, no advice, no accusations. Just held the space for me to find myself, to face myself, and to love myself.
It’s Timmie and I against the world, that we are one, and that it will all be okay.
Story by Enoch Li
The fundraiser continues for the photo-album, which will be the most important result of the Moodlab Project. This book will feature all the photos and stories of the models, in addition to key facts about bipolar disorder. We appreciate any amount of money given. Scan the QR code to read more about it and donate.
Our partner from Bearapy (Founder: Enoch Li) is the magic behind the “One Model One Story” series. She conducted interviews with the models and created a narrative from their words and experiences. You can follow Bearapy by scanning the QR code below.
CandleX’s Resources
Access the CandleX archive on depression and mental health
Are you or a friend in a Crisis?
CandleX Classroom
https://www.candlex.cn/classroom
Depression stories from our community members
CandleX Column | My Story with Depression
https://www.candlex.cn/my-story-with-depression
A CandleX production on Depression
The Tiny Little Box | A Documentary on Depression
Support Group